I was recently introduced to a Limonera. I was also recently introduced to some chocolate.
La Limonera Project is a new project.
YOU HAVE NEVER TASTED CHOCOLATE. This is a game. It is called 'how to sell the World's most expensive chocolate'. Starts soon. Anyone can play. Back to Ibiza. Work please. firstname.lastname@example.org Tlf: 689 744 929
The fundamental affect smart phones are having on society. Somehow they have managed to turn the internet into something very insular and selfish. From a World of open information into a cosy little lie you choose yourself. Nice, but dangerous.
I spend the vast majority of my life on the street. I like it. My life is very simple - uncomplicated. I am a very happy and content person. Very little money, but priceless freedom. However, I am a bit preoccupied with ideas for making cash to take to America (cos' it is Merica and you need cash and stuff). Looking around me it seems there is still 'crisis'. Well, crisis for most, but the richest are 9% richer this year than last year. This means the rest of us are 9% poorer this year. The money hasn't vapourised - it is still there on paper at least. It is all going on smart phones, service fees, accessories and app's.
I have found a beautiful product. Amongst many other features it has 8GB of storage and the most fucking awesome sound you can imagine from a 4CM x 4CM x 4CM cube. Cute as, lovelly feel, perfect weight. Place it in the plam of your hand and you feel rich. After talking to the people who make them in China it seems I can buy each one for less than the cost of a packet of cigarettes. How do you sell an unbranded product like this online? The biggest selling factors are the sound and feel. How do you communicate intangibles like this on the net?
All the time I spend on the street I see many things. During the past few months I have witnessed exactly the same scenario Four times...
Young woman on moped (it has always been a young woman - this is not a sexist thing to say) approaching a pedestrian crossing, one hand on handlebar, one hand on smart phone Facebooking, or Twittering herself, or summat??? The roads are wet and greasy. The lights suddenly turn to red (from amber) and in a moment of panic she hits the front brake just as the tyre is making contact with the white bands of the pedestrian crossing on the road. Three times I have picked up the moped, stood it on the pavement, then returned to help the victim to her feet and brush her down. No more than cuts and grazes. A bit of bruising perhaps.
Exactly the same scenarion everytime. Last time I watched the moped skid along the road. It came to a halt against the guttering of the pavement still with the engine reving and humming. Picked it up. Turned the key to kill the engine. Put it on it's stand. Picked up the smart phone and walked towards the sprawled woman to help pick her up and dust her down. Oh shit! Deaded!!! Head so obviously dislocated from the rest of her body. Instant death at 10KPH. Shook me up a bit. I looked at her with that horrible feeling of shock, sadness and recognition of your own vulnerability and fragility. Life gone in a moment. Dead.
It matters nothing to her anymore. I considered the family and friends I do not know. The grief.
I went and bought a can of beer. Sat on a bench. Tasted the air and felt the sounds. Fuck the money. It will come when it has to - it always does. The people I see everyday make me smile. Make me happy. I tell them they are beautiful, because they are beautiful for making me feel very happy and lucky to be alive.
Life, death and smart phones and external speaker devices. I am bored with sketching street scenes. I want to sketch more naked women. Preferably living. Carelessness causes grief. People think I am irresponsible - I am not - I make it my job not to be responsible for anybody other than myself. If I kill myself with a smart phone I will only have myself to blame and nobody will miss me. Well, some might (hopefully). When I do eventually die (we all do eventually) I want to be fed to the fishes. You can think about me when eating your next kipper, or sardine, or other scavaging fish. It is the way I would like to be remembered. In the meantime, I am off to buy a can of beer and sit on a bench, and probably draw some more boring buildings. None of the girls I know here will get their kit off for me. I have a very fertile imagination mind. Sometimes dreams are better than reality - dreams rarely go wrong in a consequential way ;)
I like it here even though it is very difficult to make money. Nice place. Good people.
Tlf: 689 744 929
Ibiza in approximately Two weeks time from now.
"Who is The Lost Photographer?" people ask me.
The Lost Photographer is a scruffshyster, itinerant artist today. He used to work for big name companies in London, New York and Berlin (amongst other places), big name companies like GlaxoSmithKline, Unilever and others (they probably wouldn't like me telling people these days). He also worked alongside some of the World's most respected creatives and graphic designers on the 'periphery' of the advertising industry. He is a multiskilled talent! Any work will do. As I have said before; I can even clean toilets creatively.
Today I will be back to selling BIG sketches on the streets of Granada. Unless it rains again.
Not a lot. I still really enjoy this city. There is a new city electric bike scheme. Seems to be very popular. The secret Chinese secreted below the fountain at the top end of Plaza de España is as popular as ever. Healthy eating for just €5 to takeaway. The huge monolithic Telefonica building has gone. The entire plaza is much better off for it. Talking of buildings; Madrid knocks spots off Barcelona architecturally for me. It is a fabulous mix. Talking of buildings take 2; The British Embassy (now consulate) is located at the top of one of Spain's tallest (if not the tallest) buildings. Effectively the Fourth tower of Los Cuatro Torres it is a very prestigious spot. Fabulous views. Great space. Bit of a trek out of town (I have done it both ways Twice now out of necessity rather than joy, but it was worth it - much to see in Madrid away from the tourist centre). It must cost a fortune to maintain. So, what do they do there, and how many people are employed there? One person and a security guy! I reckon the space is costing somewhere in the region of €200,000 a year. All that for nothing really. Not much they can offer British Citizens in Spain these days. An emergency travel document for a 40% premium over the cost of a full 10 year passport is about it. They have a computer you can use. I'll moan about the British Embassy website another day - it is absolutely fucking shite. The ex-embassy remains as a glorious badge representing the very worst of Capitalism today. Just a BIG FAT LIE basically.
That is it today no? Everything is a lie. People are buying into lies. This is the end of the Capitalist road. How many times can you sell empty promises and lies?
On the plus side, it seems everybody is beautiful today. You can buy into the stereotype and photograph yourself so easily. Beauty has never been so accessible. I wish that wasn't just another lie!
Ugly git signing off. Madrid is being very kind again. Keep the work coming please. I am still a long way from replacing everything that was stolen in Barcelona. New Two year itinery will be posted within a week. In the meantime I am enjoying Madrid. All enquiries welcome...
Tlf: 689 744 929
Or, find me in the usual places. Plaza de Oriente. Palacio Real. Gran Via opposite Metropolis.
Thank you very much for the ticket. I am going to California.
Firstly I need to replace my passport.
Here is my plan...
Granada for another day, then head to Madrid and claim my new passport.
Flight to LA in a very few weeks. I am going to do the West Coast. San Francisco, San Diego all the way upto Seattle, then Vancouver before heading back to my home in Granada.
Work please people. Here, or in Madrid. I really, really need it now. I need a new passport - it isn't cheap!
It is a very interesting lesson. I have been banned from yet another web forum for slagging off thieves and pointing out their nationality. This is rascist apparently. So, hey, anyone travelling to Barcelona please don't blame me for telling you most of the street thieves you have to look out for are Moroccan. Perfectly OK for me to discuss this rationally with fellow people in my community who happen to be Moroccan, totally not allowed on an annonymous web forum like Urban75.net.
My problem here is not with Morrocans. My problem is with dirty, fucking, little thieves firstly. Secondly with the establishment who let them get away with it, and why they let them get away with it. The fact that they are Morrocan is not irrelevant. The majority of Morrocan people in Spain recognise this.
I see everything on the street (except my stolen bags). Every thief, Every secret police. Every methadone addict. Everything.
There are many different theories as to why the Morrocan teenagers are allowed to get away with their thieving. Mine is very simply that the authorities want someone to blame who isn't their 'home' problem.
Any fuckwit who wants to call me racist and ban me from their poxy web forum can do so. I know who I am.
FUCK OFF Mike Slocombe and all your controlled cronies. You want to side with dirty, little fucking thieves. Carry on. You want to side with racist systems? Carry on as you are under your pseudo liberal banner.
Appreciate the internet for what it used to be and work to protect it.
Work needed desperately. I need about €3,000 to recover all that has been stolen and replace my passport. Any work is greatly appreciated.
Tlf: 689 744 929 (mobile number remains the same)
Mostly I need a laptop. I had several projects in progress relying on a laptop. Almost everything can be replaced in time - theives have become a hazzard of the job I have learned to accept. But, I am gutted that they got my Seiko pilots watch after 20 years plus of ownership and reliable, stylish time keeping. Other than that f*** them. Sad fuck losers.
Onwards and upwards! Have paper. Have pens. Have a can of beer :)
Can't be bothered to moan again. Third time being robbed in Barcelona. Second laptop gone this year. The streets are getting meaner.
Thankfully, I made it back to Granada to start all over again. But, no passport, no bank cards, no cash, no laptop, nothing more than the clothes I wear really. I am unfortunately well practiced in these situations, but what if you're not? Without passport you cannot receive money transfers and the British embassy seem to want you to book flights and pay them €124 for emergency travel documents!
Every Tuesday at Pacha is Flower Power night. Placa des Parc
is decorated to promote the event. CND symbols, flowers and a life size Jimi
Hendrix adorn the bars. The trees are wrapped in multi-coloured chiffon
dressings. It creates a very nice atmosphere in the plaza even if it doesn’t
inspire me to visit the club and fork out extortionate prices for a bottle of
At around midnight the beautiful young hippy promotion
people gather to parade their way around town singing and dancing to Sister
Sledge. Erm… yep – Sister Sledge! I will willingly admit to being quick to
pounce on any credit card toting hippy if a bit of micky taking seems
appropriate. On the other hand I do enjoy the fashion. It seems the new young
hippies are referring to a retro period of fashion rather than a cultural and
social movement born from the original beatniks.
Many of us grew up listening to pop music with a political
message. It was healthy. Now, the politics in youth culture is hidden. It is
hardly main stream. Perhaps I’m listening in the wrong places, and perhaps I
really shouldn’t expect to find it on a party island like hedonistic Ibiza? The island mentality on top of holiday mode does
leave you feeling a bit distanced from the reality of the rest of the World.
On top of that, Flower Power night is just a bit of fun. I
shouldn’t feel my heart sink when I see a poster advertising Paris Hilton
playing at Amnesia either. Nor, that poster of the twat with the name that
reminds me of Robbie’s dog out of Eastenders – that annoys me every time I see
one. But, along with ‘up your crack’ shortest short denims and the San Antonio scene, it all makes Ibiza
seem a bit naff. I was expecting more chic, but the place is actually a bit of
a style vacuum. That may well come down to this years fashion for what appears
to be cheap and tacky cool. Not the fault of Ibiza, but the fault of
homogenised nations and a powerful US cultural influence on the hoards
of tourists who takeover for summer.
Anyway, I shall return in winter. It was nicer then. And, I
very much look forwards to next summers tasteful, romantic fashion of long
flowing hippy skirts with sparkly bits. I especially like the sparkly bits.
Time to bin the short shorts and put your arse cheeks away. We’ve all seen enough.
I can’t say all that about Ibiza
without mentioning that there is some fabulous style here. I’ve previously
written about Cotton Beach Club (not a single minute I was there did it feel
like work), and Hotel Es Vive. There are others. And, there is some very
stunning ‘modelling’ of beach wear going on at Figurettes ;)
The book (part 1) is comming soon in electronic format. Very soon hopefully. How to Fund Your Own Travel Adventure by The Lost Photographer is an entertaining travelogue and comprehensive guide for anyone wishing to pay their way around Europe. Part 1 covers just Spain and will only be available in electronic formats. Anyone buying Part 1 will be issued with a password to access an accompanying website with ongoing, continuously updated information. The full version of the book will cover the majority of Europe and will also be available as a printed version (at a later date). The accompanying website for the full version of the book will also be supported by a members only website with discussion forums.
How to Fund Your Own Travel Adventure will hopefully stand up well enough simply as a travelogue. The book isn't just a guide for those wishing to give it a go themselves - it is a fun read regardless.
Whether you are, or would like to be a traveling artist, musician, street performer, massues, street pedlar, or offering any sort of service as an itinerant, or just looking for seasonal jobs enroute, you will find the book full of extremely useful information. The website with updated information will also be very valuable. The guide includes the following sections (many locally specific to each city):
How to sell and building your sales confidence.
Where to sell - the best pitches in each city, and how to spot a good pitch.
Applicable European and local laws.
Where and how to get professional legal help if needed.
Obtaining permission (if needed and available).
Tips for budget travelers.
Bus and train routes.
How to travel for free.
Hiking route information.
Where to stay - cheap and free options.
Where to eat - cheap and free options.
Socialising with fellow traveling workers.
Help! - I have fallen ill.
Help! - I have lost my passport, or been robbed.
Help! - I have had an accident.
Help! - I have run out of money.
Plus much more!
Ibiza was the last corner of Spain I had to research. How to Fund Your Own Travel adventure has been born out of more than Six years real experience - there is no theoretical rubbish. Hopefully, income from Part 1 will enable me to complete research for the remaining places in Europe I want to research to complete the full version. I have barely touched Italy, and never stepped foot in Portugal, or Greece. All Three countries are obviously going to be popular destinations, so it is essential I test these waters before publishing the complete version. Strange how Portugal is probably the easiest destination outside of Spain for me to reach from Granada, yet I have left it until last. I am really looking forwards to visiting and working in Porto and Lisbon - I have heard nothing but good stories about both cities.
Date of publish for Part 1 will be announced here within the comming weeks.
This blog has been a fantastic adventure that is almost over (unless it has only just begun). The World is a very big place even if it seems too small at times!